Promised myself to start to write a journal so that i remember things. But yet i haven't write anything hahahahaha so here one thing that i really really really wanna remember. The past 6 weeks, I've been doing my first ssc in psychology in Permai. Alhamdulillah, thats the best thing happened to me in my soul-searching moment rn. Since last year, ive come to a decision that i need to improve myself or at least to be the old me. Wasn't planning to do soul-searching in psychology as i was contemplating on what to do at first, but that was the best thing that Allah had offered me. Surrounded by positive people. One of the best blessings us to have a supervisor that was really understanding and approachable. So I've been bombarding her w my soul-searching questions and she patiently layan me. So i found out that I've lost interest in 'helping' ppl cz me myself have was tired and feels helpless. I no longer understand people's sadness cz I'm numb rn. Im shielding myself from the surroundings so i won't get hurt as much but w a price of me being tired and irritated w people. At first i told my sv that i wanted to understand more people, but on the last day there, when she asked me how do i understand ppl more after this attachment, I've come to a conclusion that i gave up hahahaha so she laughed and said, "nah, u shouldn't give up in understanding and helping ppl cz u have it in u" there's when i realize that im actually tired. I've been missing people who can lift me. I no longer have friends or teachers that i can go to for a motivation lifting. So she asked what can i do about this. My answer was, i just have to brave myself cz i know, i wont have people that i trust w me forever. But still i dunno what to cz i shield myself from surroundings as i want to appear braver and no dependant on other ppl but im losing my values by doing so. So my task now is to continue my soul-searching and reinstall my values. Because i believe in kindness and i want to spread kindness and positivity. So as a conclusion, do a self-reflection is very very important. Haa tetiba kan. Hahahaha oke la. Until next time ❤️